We have all had problems in love and the first date is the first problem you must face in any romantic relationship. Hell, if that first date doesn’t go as planned, you can pretty much kiss the entire relationship goodbye. This is why you need as many tips as you can get. Some are always a total waste of time, while others have some use in real life. The problem is that we all live different kinds of life, in different environments with different traditions. For example, you can’t simply tell someone to plan his/her first date night at a bowling alley if there aren’t any in his town, city, village, or country.
We should first say that this is a different age… Sure, a gentleman and a lady are still best role models. However, there are now two different types of first dates, and we should adjust our “approach” accordingly.
There are those first dates with people you have never (ever) seen in the flesh, nor talked to on the phone. You probably met them on some private or public chat or some online dating service. The best possible location for this type of date is a coffee shop. You can either say that you have to hurry, if you don’t like the person or if you don’t “feel” any chemistry, or you can ask that person if she (he) would like to accompany you on a second activity (that you had previously planned for this occasion).
And there is that second, “normal” type of date with some you have (probably) already met in person or at least talked to on the phone. That could also be a long-time friend. You know them a little bit, but you have never gone on an actual date with them. In this situation, you probably feel more confident about your chances with that person, and you want to commit a bit more.
According to ideas I found on www.bemyflower.co.uk while searching for some flowers that were appropriate for my date (don’t ask) a true gentleman has not gone out of fashion. That is why you need to be very careful and follow these ideas… or tips:
Make a plan. Women love men with a plan because they show initiative, aren’t shy about taking the lead, they can think ahead, and women can feel safe around that kind of men. Don’t just ask her what she wants, make a decision, and ask if that is something she will enjoy. When a woman is around a man that shows initiative and has a plan, they feel relaxed, and they can enjoy themselves.
This also means that you need to choose the right first date location. You can choose:
- A fancy restaurant;
- A picnic;
- Tea house/ room;
- Amusement park;
- You can just take a walk;
- Do a museum visit;
- Go hiking;
- Visit an animal shelter;
- Do anything at the beach; etc.
NO MOVIES ON A FIRST DATE!
1. Clean your car. Really! You should clean your car. It smells, and it is dusty.
2. Bathe or shower within three hours before your date. And wash your teeth. That is very important.
3. Shave. You don’t want to look like a lumberjack.
4. Use some high-quality cologne on yourself. But don’t cover yourself with it.
5. Bring enough cash. You will need it.
6. Dress accordingly. You need to show some respect to your date, not just to leave a good impression. A right combination of elegant and casual could do the trick. No need for a tie, but something like a nice pair of jeans, a button-down shirt, a nice blazer… That would be nice.
7. Call her a day or two in advance and tell her precisely what you are going to do on that date. You might think that your partner needs only a few hours to get dressed, but you are wrong. You need to give her enough time to decide how she should wear and make herself up. She will also feel more comfortable and relaxed, and that will additionally help YOU out.
Time to pick her up!
1. Be on time! Arriving late shows disrespect, and makes her nervous. If there are some unforeseen circumstances, you need to call her and let her know that you are late.
2. Come to the door. Don’t just honk.
3. Compliment her looks, but be subtle. Women spend a lot of time prepping for that date, so you need to let her know you appreciate all that. That should be the first thing you do when you see her. Compliment the dress or her overall look.
4. Be a gentleman – open the car door for her. That is maybe old-fashioned however, it works. Trust me.
5. Prepare for a conversation and don’t play any music in your car. Studies have shown that if you are going on a date, with a woman specifically, you should forget those cheesy pick-up lines and instead go for an interesting conversation instead of that. Don’t waste your time on a series of empty compliments and failed attempts to be funny. Women like a good conversation topic which could show that you are curious, intelligent and cultured.
And ask her about her own life. And listen.
“Out of all the people in the world, who would you invite to dinner?”;
“What is your favorite memory?”;
“What is your perfect day?”
1. Don’t spill your guts and don’t lie! And also don’t talk about politics!
2. Keep the first date light, fun, and romantic. You are not proposing to her so you can’t go wrong if you choose a dinner and a walk after that. Both activities give you a lot of time and opportunities to talk and get to know each other.
3. You pay for everything. There is no question about it. If she offers, you just need to smile and say “it is my pleasure,” and pay the waiter.
4. Walk her to the door. You will show that you care for her and want to see that she gets safely into her place. That is plain chivalry. While walking, you offer her your arm (maybe), because that is a… subtle way to initiate body contact without her thinking that you are some kind of a pervert.
5. You “could” make a move. There are no rules about this one. She might give you her cheek, but that is cool. Just go with it, play it safe and cool. There is always next time, next opportunity, next chance… You can hug her; you can never go wrong with that one. And that could also be a good opportunity to see if she is up for a kiss too. You can feel that in a hug.
6. Don’t go to her house! Even if she asks, don’t! It will show that you are a gentleman, and she will respect that.
7. Call her the next day. Don’t text her, Facebook, or tweet her about the date. Call her, listen to her voice. Don’t wait for two, or three days. Thank her for that wonderful evening and if everything was ok, ask for that second date. If she refuses, or she doesn’t call back, acknowledge that and pursue some other opportunities.