One thing that many relationships fail at is maintaining or improving important levels of intimacy. As months and years pass, other areas of life take the forefront of one’s mind and it can become ever more pressing to take on other activities and forget about the need to keep those close relationships as happy as possible. Passion and desire are important factors of any loving relationship, but intimacy almost always ranks highest.
Intimacy is the sense of someone knowing everything about you, and loving everything that you have to offer. How do you find this? Well it must be noted that without revealing all, you can not expect someone to truly know and love everything. You must take a certain level of responsibility upon yourself in your search for optimal level of intimacy. Here we will give you some ways of improving this area of your relationship.
There are many ways in which you can increase the eroticism in your relationship, and some may not be as obvious as first thought. Making love in places that you have never done before isn’t always the answer. Sometimes training yourself to think in a certain way can align your senses in a direction of satisfaction and desire that you and your partner may have lost somewhere along the way.
Relationship expert Dr Laura Berman has stated in previous studies that simplifying the idea of spontaneity can hugely improve your sex life. Reducing the amount of pressure on each individual on being the one to curate the ‘moment’ can actually act as a huge positive for all parties. Scheduling in ‘sex dates’ can be a new way of ensuring pleasure is being achieved and creates a different way of building spontaneity in a new exciting form.
Changing they way you navigate the bedroom using sex toys as another evermore popular way to improve a couple’s intimacy. Embarking on new adventures like this together can bring individuals closer together and they share new experiences and pleasures. Sex toys can also change the way you have intercourse altogether as taboos are slowing but surely knocked down openness around who sex toys are truly for increases across the globe. The stereotype that sex toys are for women’s solo play is almost a thing of the past. Sextoysaver.co.uk are huge advocates of this movement, and work to break down these barriers.
This can be taken in more ways than one. Dating at the very beginning of a relationship is a time in which everything that people learn about one another is new, interesting and exciting. You may reach a point at which the things you can learn about the person sat across are running low, but the time you are spending regardless of the content within can be hugely important to maintaining the connection that you have managed to build thus far.
Texting and email while you work are practical ways of keeping in touch, but do not bear the same connective factors that spending real unbroken time together does. It also enables you to add that added level of spontaneity that we previously mentioned. You can plan things together that you have never previously enjoyed, allowing you to share new experiences and thinking less about what goes on in your relationship sexually and more about the important factors that take hold outside of this time.
Think of Yourself
At the very beginning of a relationship, it is very easy to open up about yourself. It is an essential part of allowing someone to get to know you, and vice versa. Giving new information about yourself is seemingly endless as the person you are speaking to at the start is essentially a stranger. As you grow closer and spend more time together, the information about yourself that you are able to pass over to the other individual becomes much more personal and therefore, is often harder to release.
Opening up about the more vulnerable elements of your psyche can actually allow your own sense of intimacy towards your partner to increase. A study found that 5 questions that tested self-disclosure could help you and your partner grow closer, if you are able to openly answer each one. Those questions were:
- For what in your life do you feel most grateful?
- What is your most treasured memory?
- Share 5 positive characteristics about your partner.
- How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?
- What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?
Building intimacy isn’t always about facing forwards and considering how to tackle the future. What got you and your partner here in the first place is the long past that you have created between you to get to where you currently are. You should spend time considering these happy memories and speak about them together. Whether good or bad times, reminiscing on how you got through certain situations can reinstate the bond that you have grafted together.
Remember again, this practice doesn’t have to be made as a couple. You may find that reminiscing on these times yourself can bring back emotions and stronger feelings towards your partner that you have perhaps lost in recent times. Focusing on yourself can change everything.
Do Something New (That The Other Likes)
This could really be anything. Whether it is walking to the peak of a mountain, or taking part in water sports. Sit down with your partner and make a list of all the things that you either already love to do, or have a desire to try and take on. When the list is complete, take three of the most achievable and realistic (base jumping in Patagonia may be expensive) activities and enjoy doing them for the first time together.
The idea of ‘new’ is prevalent throughout this article. Because it is the building blocks of all relationships you have with partners, family or friends. When you stop feeling like you are achieving or anything new, things can begin to go stagnant. That is why it is important to create these fresh experiences, and there is no limit as to how many are available to you. No matter how big or small, there is always room for something that you have never done.