We all know that at some point of the relationship we will inevitably reach a stalemate in one question or another. At that point in time, we can choose to dig in and take the last stand or look for a compromise. The second alternative is much better if you aim to build a long-lasting relationship.
Making good compromises is very important for building a healthy relationship. All people are different so you can’t find someone you would agree on every point. Bridging those gaps is what makes the relationships work.
What constitutes a good compromise? Some people think that the compromises in a relationship are just sacrifices. But that’s not exactly the case. Ideally, the compromise is something that has the benefits for both parties and no one feels like the only party that had to give up something. Such compromises in a relationship feel fair and balanced and help both of you grow. A good compromise also shouldn’t feel like you are sacrificing something truly important. And you shouldn’t ask your partner to give up something important to them.
One of the keys to successfully negotiating a compromise in love is getting what you both have on the table and discussing it honestly and rationally. Talk to each other and discuss what you and your partner’s priorities are. Both of you can write it down if you prefer it this way.
Another good idea on how to compromise in a relationship is to never argue while angry. It is never a good idea to discuss anything with your partner in that state. It is much better to calm down first. This way you won’t say something you’ll regret later, make a rash decision or forget something important. But worst of all the strong emotions would prevent you from thinking rationally and making the best decision. And if you are going to make important decisions it’s better not to regret them later because you couldn’t control your emotions. Take a few deep breaths and if that doesn’t help just reschedule the whole thing for later. Trust me, anger is not your friend when it comes to good decision making.
To better understand the choices you are presented with and think of the best course of action you’ll need to put yourself into your partner’s shoes. That’s the only way you would have a win-win situation. Thinking only about your needs and what you are ready to give up can cloud your judgment. Thinking about both your needs is what’s the best strategy for making compromises.
Do not think that the compromises are the last resort in a relationship. It is not the last resort but an opportunity to improve the relationship. Use it to learn more about your partner and about yourself. If you develop the skills necessary for making good compromises it will help you not only in your relationships but also in other situations. And don’t think that training those skills is something that’s useful just in long-term relationships. You can successfully make compromises even in small things on the initial stage of a relationship. Let’s say you got along with someone on DoULike. Getting to agree where to go on a first date, which movie to watch or some other small stuff may be the first step in a long and happy relationship.
There is a lot of different advice on how to compromise but the basics are not so hard to catch. Be calm during the conversation; honestly say what you want and listen to your partner carefully. Try to find a solution that would help both of you and none would feel like sacrificing more. Hopefully, these small steps would make you a better negotiator and help you improve your relationships.