The divorce rate in the world is fairly high. However, this is an experience that makes a lot of people wiser and more confident in knowing exactly what they’re looking for. The second time around, you’re not looking for someone to complete you but for someone to be there with you and give you company. The second time around, you’re not hoping that you can change your spouse but accepting them for the person they are. Finally, the second time around, you already know what a bad marriage looks like, which means that you’ll have an easier job at recognizing a problem.
One particular issue that might be of concern is explaining all of this to your kids. While this is usually not the case, your kids might see your future partner as a potential threat and even start feeling neglected. Fortunately, there’s so much you can do on this front. For instance, you can make a great start by including them in your wedding planning process and here are six ways for you to do so efficiently.
1. Explain that nothing is going to change in terms of your own relationship
Just because you’re getting married, this doesn’t mean that your relationship with children is going to change. Explain to them exactly what’s going to happen (in a scenario where you’re going to relocate in order to live with your new spouse) and what kind of difference this is going to make for them. Start by stating that they’re still the most important person in the world and that nothing is going to change that. Keep in mind that your child loves you and wants you to be happy, so, try putting your explanation into this perspective. It really is all that it takes.
2. Include them in the planning process
Just because they’re young, this doesn’t mean that they don’t have an opinion of their own, so, try to include them in your wedding planning process. Of course, you don’t have to expect them to make independent decisions but you could, on occasion, ask them to choose between option A and option B and then take their opinion into consideration. They need to feel like their opinion is valued and like they’re getting paid the attention they deserve. To you, this will be a simple gesture, but for them, this will generate enough of a feeling of importance that they will no longer feel like they’re being neglected or forgotten.
3. Choose a venue that will be fun for them
The next idea worth considering is choosing a venue that will give your kid a chance to do something. Drinking, talking and even dancing are mostly activities that are fun for adults. Therefore, you need to pick a location that has something to offer to a child. It is usually a good idea to go for a beach wedding venue like this one at Long Reef Golf Club, due to the fact that outdoor weddings tend to be particularly interesting to children. Of course, there are other reasons to pick an outdoor venue but, at the moment, this is one of your primary concerns.
4. Include them into your wedding vow
While we’ve already discussed the importance of addressing them directly in a one-on-one discussion, it’s not a bad idea to give them a formal promise in front of everyone. The best way to do this is to make a mention of them in your wedding vows. You can simply use some of the notions we’ve discussed in the first section and work a bit on your phrasing. It really is that simple, however, you must first master the art of writing wedding vows.
5. Make them bridesmaids and groomsmen
If they have a fear of being left out, what you might want to do is give them an honorary place in the overall ceremony by making them bridesmaids and groomsmen. Other than the idea of just how adorable they will look when dressed up in these uniforms, it will also help them feel more important in the general sense of things.
6. You can even ask them to walk you down the aisle
This last idea may be somewhat outside-of-the-box, yet, it gives you a great opportunity to show your child just how much you care for them. Other than this, the idea of them walking you down the aisle will be outright adorable and turn into one of their favorite memories, especially if properly recorded. Just make sure that they’re on board with this, seeing as how the last thing you want to do is force your shy child to do something that they’re not comfortable with.
All in all, there are no one-size-fits-all solutions and there are some decisions that you’ll have to make based on your child’s personality. For instance, if your child is an introvert, then having them walk you down the aisle or even be a bridesmaid or a groomsman may make them quite uncomfortable. Needless to say, this is the last thing that you want to do. Still, even in this scenario, having a one-on-one talk and involving them in the planning process might be a solid plan. No one knows your child better than you do, which means that the choice needs to be all yours.