On the outside, your relationship seems to be picture perfect. You and your partner are a shining example of what a relationship ought to look like. At least from the perspective of those who are looking from the outside and are only privy to the relationship highlight reels that you choose to share on social media.
In reality, you may find yourself struggling with intimacy issues behind closed doors. Whether people admit it or not, intimacy issues in the bedroom can be one of the leading causes of relationship strain, and can also, unfortunately, lead to relationships falling apart if the intimacy concerns are not addressed.
The good news is that there are several steps that you can take in order to restore intimacy to your relationship and make this a true happily ever after story.
Getting to the root of the concerns
No one likes to admit that they might be the source of a problem in the bedroom. But to move forward in the right direction, you should have a frank discussion with your partner about what might be causing the strain.
Have you recently had a new baby? Does one of you have a lot of stress at work? Have there been physical changes between you?
Once you’ve been able to determine what the issue is, you’ll both be in a better position to work through in.
Considering self-esteem or confidence issues
Women can often feel a drop in their self-confidence levels after having a baby or even after gaining a bit of weight. While their partners may not even notice these physical changes or may enjoy them, it can lead women to feelings of inadequacy and shame. Men can also feel these similar feelings, particularly if they’ve gained weight or have become aware of their own feelings of inadequacy in the bedroom. Whether there is any truth to the inadequacy from the perspective partner or not, it’s still important to address it.
According to the professionals at Calibre clinic, men are just as likely as women are to worry about aspects of their body. Whereas a woman may think that her breasts are too small or may look different after weight loss, a man may think that his penis size or girth may need to be altered for reasons that are personal to him and him alone.
Addressing these issues will help to restore the confidence that will have the ripple effect of helping with your relationship intimacy problems.
Considering couples therapy
Therapy can be a very useful tool in helping couples work through intimacy issues. A therapist can offer a safe and objective space in which to lay it all out on the table so that you can start to work towards a solution that will work for both partners.
It may not necessarily be a comfortable experience for the first few sessions, but it is an important part of the communication and conversation that needs to happen in order to keep the relationship workable.
Focusing on outside activities
When we are wholly fixated on the one issue that is interfering in our otherwise happy relationship, it can soon become harder to approach anything else in the relationship. So, take a break from worrying about it for now. Refocus your time together on things that you both enjoy outside of the bedroom and the home. Go for a hike or spend time out on the lake. Soak up the sunshine and remember those reasons you fell for one another.
This can help to reignite your romance, without the focus being on those difficulties you are experiencing in your relationship.
Working through your issues with your partner, using open and honest communication, can go a long way towards ensuring yours is a relationship that goes the distance.